BBB Turns Over a New Leaf

Because of a number of complaints I have received from certain readers who perceive this blog to be mean spirited, BBB will turn over a new leaf and stop being mean.

He Harvests Urine to Drink

DUBLIN, Ohio — Cops have arrested Alan Patton of Columbus, Ohio, on charges of "criminal mischief" for allegedly planning to collect young boys' urine and drink it. According to a police report,a sporting goods employee recognized him as the same man she saw the previous week "putting Saran Wrap on toilets and cups in urinals." The employee called police and found Patton walking out of a restroom stall with a black duffle bag. Patton told investigators that he was not hurting anyone and that he suffers from an illness. Patton, a registered sex offender, posted bail. His prior crimes include gross sexual imposition against an 8-year-old boy and watching little boys urinate. Patton admits he collected little boys' urine to drink. Patton would turn the water to the urinals off, place a cup inside and then collect the urine after a boy went to the bathroom. Patton declined comment

Lurch v. John: The Rematch

After debunking the "I used to be an athlete" myth, Lurch has issued another challenge to the defeated and deflated John: A rematch of their famous racketball competition this Wednesday.

P.S. Fishing is not a sport.

Leviticus 18:23 Violation

Diane Sue Whalen, aged 54, from Tulsa, Oklahoma, was arrested June 26, and charged with felony crimes against nature after police were alerted to the existence of more than 150 home-made movies of the woman engaged in bestiality. The tapes were brought to police attention after her son accidentally stumbled onto one of the movies. He then alerted the sheriff's department. The tapes, along with three dogs -- a Labrador, a blue heeler and a mixed breed -- were also taken into custody. Police stated the dogs will be taken away from the woman and put down.

Anti-Animal Testing Protestors are Stupid

They are ugly. And angry.

Jessica Simpson Attacked by PETA

Animal rights protesters have launched a series of angry campaigns against A-list carnivores. They are shifting their focus from celebrities who wear fur to others who encourage the "exploitation" of animals by eating them. In its latest campaign, Peta – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which became infamous for dousing fur-wearers in red paint – has launched an attack on the singer Jessica Simpson.

Ms Simpson was singled out for ridicule after she was spotted wearing a T-shirt bearing the slogan "Real Girls Eat Meat", believed to be a light-hearted dig at her boyfriend Tony Romo's vegetarian ex-girlfriend, Carrie Underwood.

Alistair Currie, a spokesman for Peta, said: "Jessica Simpson might have a right to wear what she wants, but she doesn't have a right to eat what she wants – eating meat is about suffering and death. Some people feel like they are standing up against a tide of political correctness when they make a statement like this – what she is really doing is standing up for the status quo."

Leave the beautiful people alone!

Barack Obama Copies Eddie Murphy Campaign

From My Cold, Dead Hands!!!

The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall NOT be infringed!

Hero of the Constitution

Scooter's New Job

Whining about being a highly paid professional who sits in an air-conditioned office long enough, Scooter has decided to find a less stressful form of employment.

Lurch Attends Wedding Reception

Instead of showing support and watching the blogmaster's daughter in a softball tournament in his hometown this weekend, Lurch is going to a wedding. "The reception afterwards is gonna be sweet," he gushed.

Schmitty Shows Off His New GPS System

After losing his Benz in a recent accident, Schmitty has been forced to "down size," and is driving a 1987 Hondoid. "But is has a GPS system," he boasts.

Democrats Love Child Molestors, Hate Child Rape Victims

A Democratic Massachusetts politician and defense attorney has touched off a firestorm among Republicans with his shocking public vow to torment and "rip apart" child rape victims who take the witness stand if the state legislature passed stiff mandatory sentences for child sex offenders. Rep. James Fagan, a Democrat, made the comments during debate last month on the state House floor. "I'm gonna rip them apart," Fagan said of young victims during his testimony on the bill. "I'm going to make sure that the rest of their life is ruined, that when they’re 8 years old, they throw up; when they’re 12 years old, they won’t sleep; when they’re 19 years old, they’ll have nightmares and they’ll never have a relationship with anybody.” His remarks drew praise from his Democratic colleagues, as well as the local chapter of the ACLU (Anti-Christian Legal Unit).

Scott Defeats John in Racquetball Match

The Winner (Scott)

The Loser (John)

DemocraticUnderground Lunatics Mock Tim Russert

This disturbing image comes from the lunatic left wing website, democraticunderground.com. They have set up a poll where the lunatic left wing readers can decide what political leanings the late Tim Russert held. Most stated he was fascist, reactionary or conservative. 29 percent stated "moderate," while a minority stated he was liberal. Just goes to show you the world-view of the readers of that stupid website.

Now That's a Threat!

Women have such huge egos!

Hillary Picks Nose, Rather Than Running Mate

After extracting a long, stringy and somewhat bloody strand of mucus from her nose, Mrs. Bill Clinton announced, "That was a lot harder than picking a running mate! So Barack Hussein Obama has it easy."

Al Qaida Allows Gay Members

Following California's lead, Al Qaida has adopted new "gay friendly" policies this weekend, and announced it will no longer discriminate against "sexual-identity challenged" members. So long as an individual will take the oath of hatred against the United States, they will be admitted to the ranks of Al Qaida -- no questions asked.

Andrew Spotted in Palm Desert !

John Invents New Pizza

Weekend: RUINED

The Future KNEW Lurch wanted the tickets. Yet he didn't care. No one "important" wanted them, so he gave them away to someone besides Lurch.

These are the tickets in question.

Me Lurch. Me ANGRY!

None of you are safe.

Lemon Juice Diet Over

Fresh from his stupid, muscle atrophying diet of lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper, Lurch thinks he is "more healthy, vibrant, and de-toxed" than ever.



He is not. All that happened is that he had watery stools for 10 days. Way to go, Lurch.

Lurch to John: "Bring it On!"

Our very own Siegfried and Roy are at it again. This time they decided to have a racketball face-off. Loser buys lunch for the winner. Fred Flinstone thinks he doesn't need to train. But he does, because Lurch has nothing to do all day but obsess about it and train for the competition. It's his chance to get back at the establishment who won't reimburse his 2 year old, unidentified parking receipts that were probably incurred on a personal outing.

Lurch in Training

John in Training

McCain Selects Lieberman as Running Mate

This journalist may now reveal that Sen. John McCain has selected former Democratic Party now Independent Sen. Joe Lieberman as his running mate. Although this information has not been confirmed by anyone but me, I am confident it will happen.

Huell Howser is Above the Law

Lurch's Fishing Trip Goes Bust!

This past weekend, Lurch decided to charter a fishing boat for some deep sea fishing. He was bragging to all the fellows about all the swell fish he was going to reel in. He even started contacting taxidemists to get price estimates for mounting the trophy fish he was going to catch. He even started to wonder where he was "going to store all the fish" he caught. Alas, the trip was a bust. Is the man pictured above Lurch holding the fish he caught? NO. The man photographed above caught more fish in the pictured storm drain than Lurch caught in the entire Pacific Ocean last weekend.

Why must bad things always happen to me?

Michelle Obama: Wow!

Naked Man Tazed

Richard Scott Odell, aged 30, was naked and claiming to be Jesus Christ and George Bush when sheriff's deputies tazed him. An alert driver first spotted the man standing naked in the middle of Highway 79 in Alabama Friday morning and called the cops. Odell struggled with police and was shot with a Taser four times before they arrested the man, who was claiming to be both the Lord and the President. He also claimed "diploma immunization," as well. Police say he appeared to be intoxicated.

Hillary Set to Announce End to Campaign

It affects them deeply

Michelle Obama is Racist

This journalist can now report that he has verified that he has heard that there is a rumor on the internets that Michelle Obama made racist comments about "whitey" while seated next to Louis Farakahn. See photograph below as proof.

Prevent Vandalism During this Election Year

Want to support John McCain, but are afraid of having a liberal vandalize your car, like they alway do when they see a Republican-themed bumper sticker? Here is how: Slap a "Democrats for McCain" bumper sticker on your car. They will be torn between their visceral desire to vandalize Republican free speech outlets, and their loyalty to a fellow member of the Democratic party. At the very least, you reduce your chance of vandalism by 20 percent.

To order, follow this link:

http://www.cafepress.com/buy/john+mccain/-/pv_design_prod/p_storeid.232484909/pNo_232484909/id_232484909/c_666/

Schmitty's New Ride

Eager to impress the guys at work, and jealous of all the attention the Blogmaster received after getting a Mercedes Benz, Schmitty fashioned his own German luxury car out of paperclips.

Lurch Finds New Carpool Buddy

Following a big fight with J-Boy, Lurch found a new group of friends with whom to carpool to work. But it didn't quite work out.

Latarian Milton Locked Up in Psycho Ward!

Latarian Milton, the 7 year old car thief, is back! Remember him? He stole his grandmother's SUV and drove it on a hood-rat joy ride that damaged thousands of dollars in property and struck several people. Here is a link the the prior story. http://wrb-myblog.blogspot.com/2008/04/latarian-milton-7-year-old-car-thief.html

His new run in with the law all started when he and his grandmother were at the Wal-mart. He asked her to buy him some chicken wings. When she refused, Latarian ordered them anyway. Vikkita went to confront him and that’s when the party started. She said, “He just started hitting me — just started hitting me in front of the whole Wal-Mart. Every one in there was upset.” Latarian was taken to a local hospital by police for a 72-hour mental health evaluation. Vikkita blames his parents. She said all he has “ever seen was his parents do physical and abusive and verbal things.”