George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Day Proclamation

WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLIC THANKSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

Walter Kehowski, a tenured professor at Glendale Community College (Arizona), was fired last year for sending this out to his friends and colleagues because it contained a religious theme and was thus considered "harassment."

Obama the Athiest Hates God

Obama is such a lame "athelete" he can only play against people who agree not to try and block his shots.

Now that he's been elected, the Muslim Obama is showing his true, anti-Christian colors since pretending to be a Christian has served its purpose for the electorate. This scum bucket has yet to attend church services since winning the White House earlier this month, a departure from the example of all prior men elected president. On the three Sundays since his election, Obama has instead used his free time to get in workouts at a Chicago gym. Asked about Obama's deliberate decision to not attend church, a transition aide noted that the Obamas valued their faith experience in Chicago but felt it was no longer important to show reverence to the Lord. Lamely, the representative said, "Because they have a great deal of respect for places of worship, they do not want to draw unwelcome or inappropriate attention to a church not used to the attention their attendance would draw." Oh, right. And as if all other men previously elected president could not have made the same argument? And I guess it's OK for him to draw attention to the gym but not the House of the Lord?

Always Guard Your Food and Drink

This sicko from Wyoming. named Brandon Raz (age 38), is worse than the guy who hid in the department store aisles and "shot" at women and kids while they were shopping. This animal inseminated a female co-worker's personal drinking water bottle -- twice, as proven by DNA TESTING! The question that remains unanswered, however, is how the female victim, who told cops that "the water smelled and tasted as if it had been contaminated by seminal fluid," is this: HOW DID SHE KNOW HOW SUCH MATERIAL SMELLED AND TASTED!?!? I hereby call for an investigation into her background. Where are you, liberal media? After preliminary tests matched Mr. Raz's DNA with samples taken from the woman's water bottle, he admitted to a detective that he masturbated and ejaculated "into the water bottle belonging to the woman on two occasions," according to the police affidavit.

What is shocking is that this is ONLY A MISDEMEANOR and carries a maximum penalty of six months in prison and a $750 fine.

Why isn't this a capital offense?

Liberal, bleeding heart judges will never dispense justice.

Arrested for Farting -- Part II

Some stupid cops arrested a kid because he kept "breaking wind" during class. This is the nanny-state micro-managing we will see a lot more of under an Obama Regime.

BUTT BANDIT ARRESTED!!!!

Authorities said they've arrested a suspect in the rash of so-called "Butt Bandit" vandalism cases. County Attorney Eric Scott said a 35-year-old man was arrested early Wednesday morning. Formal charges have not yet been filed. Some vandal had been skipping from one building to another at night, pressing his naked buttocks, groin or both on windows.

As reported earlier in this Blog, http://wrb-myblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/mooner-leaves-his-mark.html store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.

Local residents found some humor in the strange brand of graffiti and had dubbed the vandal the "Butt Bandit."

Valentine Police Chief Ben McBride called it "the weirdest case I've ever seen."

Some Amayyyzing Facts About Huell Howser

A local reporter interviewed Huell Howser at Pie-N-Burger near the CalTech campus in Pasadena. Here are the factoids most interesting from that interview:

He grew up watching in awe as his “Atticus Finch-like” lawyer father Harold would litigate cases in the sweltering heat of Tennessee courtrooms.

He thinks everybody needs a pat on the back or a "well done" from time to time.

Whenever he feels angry or upset, he stays home and doesn't go outside because he's worried he might accidentally be rude to someone.

The day after he was parodied on The Simpsons he called Matt Groening and said, "This is Huell Howser. If you’re going to do a parody of me, I could use the money and the exposure. If you’re gonna continue, just let me be my own voice next time."

He was stopped speeding going 75 - 85 mph on the Grapevine toward Bakersfield. The cop said he was thrilled to be writing a ticket to Huell Howser, and did not let him off with a warning.

As a child Huell asked his parents at the dinner table why they gave him such a horrible name. They explained it was a combination of his father’s name, Harold, and his mother’s name, Jewell.

He cannot name the most amazing thing he's seen because everything is equally amazing in its own way.

After he dies, he wants to be cremated and have small portions of his ashes scattered at 20 of his favorite places in California. He made a list, and gave it to his sister.

Wash Hands and Avoid Pork

Docs in Phoenix, Arizona operated on a woman to remove what they thought was a brain tumor -- WRONG! It turned out to be a worm, living deep within her brain stem. Although doctors don’t know exactly where the woman got the worm – they said it could come from eating undercooked pork or it can be spread by people who don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom, according to the report.

“It only takes one person who is spreading it constantly to get a lot of people exposed and some of those people are going to go on to develop this problem,” the operating doctor said.

Alvarez said she hopes people learn this lesson from her story.

“Wash your hands, wash your hands.”

Pervert Caught Copulating With Jar in Car

A man in Nobbys Beach, Australia, led police on a car chase after being caught dipping his penis in a jar of pasta sauce while sitting in his parked car. Police drew their weapons when they suspected Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was armed. Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said. Weatherley saw the police and drove away, despite them flashing their lights. The chase lasted five to 10 minutes before Weatherley was stopped at Centenary Drive, Newcastle. He refused to leave the car. Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him. They found a 750 ml jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue "pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling" with officers. A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier. He was fined $600.

Girl Pretending to be Astronaut Costs Taxpayers $$$

Say good bye to those expensive tools!

NASA is now scrambling to salvage what remains of the spacewalks planned for the current space shuttle Endeavor's visit to the International Space Station. It seems a girl was allowed to accompany the astronauts on a space walk to repair a joint on a solar panel wing. The girl, who insists on using a hyphenated name to prove she is her "own person" (Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper) was busy primping herself and wiping some grease off her sleeve when she decided she needed to use both hands. So she let go of a suitcase sized tool bag full of equipment valued at HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, which of course, flew away into OUTER SPACE. The tool bag is the largest item ever lost by a spacewalker. She insisted on continuing to "play astronaut" and forced the real astronaut accompanying her to share his tools with her. She was the first woman to be assigned as lead spacewalker for a shuttle flight.
"Despite my little hiccup . . . I think we did a good job out there," Stefanyshyn-Piper said after returning to the space station.

Hitler Was Monorchic (Richard Belzer Syndrome)!

A shocking account from a German army medic has finally confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball. WWI veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s, who wrote it down. The diary was recently published.

Classic Reagan Moments

McCain Sounded Like Mondale

Medical Diagnosis: It's Just a Lump of Fat!

After his wife returned from a week long cruise, J-Boy was found on the couch nearly unconscious, watching TV while stuffing himself with a tall glass of Nestle's Quick chocolate milk

and taking a bite of a hard salami. She noticed a fleshly ball near his waist and was concerned enough that he was rushed to the hospital and missed a day's work. The doctor examined him, and the lump, and gave the diagnosis: "It's a lump of fat." Handing the receptionist his $40 co-pay, he thanked the doctor for the brilliant work in pointing out he has "love-handles."

BANNED FROM THE BLOG

This guy is a dick. He is BANNED from ever reading this blog. If you ever seen him reading it, unplug his computer. Re-typing a form from a book, listening to the radio, and chewing tobacco is evidently too much for one man to do at the same time without BEING A DICK.

Leave the Beautiful People Alone!

Some evil animal rights activist throws flour on Lindsey Lohan for wearing fur!

How Obama Got Elected -- Stupid and Uninformed People Voted

Memories of the Reagan Revolution

As we face the last few months of the Bush Administration, I am feeling melancholy. It may be a long time before we have another evangelical Christian in the White House. I am feeling nostalgic for the Reagan years. Like Sen. John McCain, I too was a foot soldier in the Reagan Revolution.

During the 1984 campaign, my younger brother Mike (then 14) and I (then 16) cut school and attended a Reagan campaign rally. We worked for Youth for Reagan in Seattle, WA, and were assigned to guard the doors and stop protesters from entering. We confiscated several Mondale signs from a bunch of protesters who tried to sneak such signage into the sacred Reagan Rally. Afterward, a hippie handed my brother a flier that said, "You Are A Tool of Ron!" The hippie was right. We proudly held on to it and used it as a book mark in our copy of Barry Goldwater's book, "Why Not Victory?"


During the Reagan Rally, while Reagan was speaking he quoted Abraham Lincoln. Just then, a bunch of women started to scream about Nicaragua and the Contras, and some idiot stood up and shouted "Lincoln was a Democrat."

After making sure the man who stood up was being taken care of, my brother and I hustled over and tore down their signs and covered their coats with "Reagan-Bush 1984" bumper stickers. It was even broadcast by the local media (KOMO TV), which we videotaped on our suitcase-sized VCR. One of the most treasured memories of my life was when Reagan made eye contact with us and gave the "thumbs up" sign after shutting those women up.

My brother and I made up a bunch of very creative signs to use at the Rally. While we were making the signs the week before, a reporter from one of the Seattle papers came by and interviewed us and was beside himself that young people were growing up to be conservatives. Later, after the Rally, the late Congresswoman Jennifer Dunn (who was then King County Chairwoman) told us the Gipper himself saw the signs, and appreciated them.

Ok. I am rambling. But these memories will keep me going over the next 4 years -- 8 if the media plays their cards right. But again, I am hopeful. If Jimmy Carter gave us Reagan, just imagine who Obama will give us!

America's Godly Heritage Remembered

George Washington, the Father of our Country, is well known to Americans for the accomplishments of his adult life: Commander-in-Chief during the American Revolution, Statesman, and President.

Perhaps the most important account of George Washington took place in his youth -- at age 23 -- during the battle on the Monongahela. His part in the July 9th, 1755, battle during the French and Indian War is one of the most significant events of his early years. His life literally hung in the balance for over two hours. This dramatic event helped shape his character and confirm God's call on him.

During the two-hour battle, the 23 year-old Colonel Washington rode all over the the battlefield on horseback. The officers had been a special target for the Indians. Of the 86 officers, 63 were killed. Washington was the only officer on horseback not killed.

Following the battle, Washington wrote a letter to his brother in which he readily and openly acknowledged: "By the all-powerful dispensations of Providence, I have been protected beyond all human probability or expectation; for I had four bullets through my coat, and two horses shot under me, yet I escaped unhurt, although death was leveling my companions on every side of me!"

15 years later, the Chief of the Indian tribe Washington had fought delivered this message to Washington of what had happened during that battle:

"I am chief and ruler over my tribes. My influence extends to the waters of the great lakes and to the far blue mountains. I have traveled a long and weary path that I might see the young warrior of the great battle. It was on the day when the white man's blood mixed with the streams of our forest that I first beheld this chief Washington . . . I called to my young men and said, 'Quick, let your aim be certain, and he dies.' Our rifles were leveled, rifles which, but for you, knew not how to miss --'twas all in vain, a power mighter far than we, shielded you...I am come to pay homeage to the man who is the particular favorite of Heaven, and who can never die in battle."

Sadly, today, few have ever heard about this important story. Unfortunately, Barack Hussein Obama appears to be a friend of the American athiest, and will likely push its agenda, and historical events such as this will be forever purged from our history books.

Jonestown -- 30 Years Ago

Heterophobes Attack!

Getting typical bottom-of-the-fold, back page treatment, the LA Times is providing bare minimal coverage of the barrage of hate crimes perpetrated by heterophobes against the Mormon Church because its members contributed and voted for Proposition 8 and a local restaurant, El Coyote (the last place Sharon Tate visted before Charles Manson's followers administered an abortion on her) because one of its co-owners donated $100 to Yes on 8.

Envelopes containing an Anthrax looking substance has been mailed to the Mormons in Salt Lake City and Westwood.


Hate-monger heterophobes have been blocking customers from entering this restaurant.

Show your support for these victims by inviting the Mormon missionaries into your home next time they come knocking, and visit El Coyote for lunch or dinner this weekend.