2 Personalities

Huell Howser Gay?

Over the years, many people have asked me whether Huell Howser is gay. Here is what I know: He is friendly and gracious. He speaks with a drawl. He appears to be a bachelor. He is enthusiastic about California and encourages people to visit places they would never have otherwise thought to go. The Wikepedia website once stated he was a member of the Log Cabin Republicans, but that reference has since been taken down. A few years ago, a man on a Huell Howser message board once wrote that he attended a dinner with Mr. Howser and that Mr. Howser looked at him with a "gay look." Another writer indicated he saw Mr. Howser at a regular bar somewhere in the Palm Springs area laughing very loud. I once met Mr. Howser at Philippes French Dipped Sandwiches in Los Angeles, and he did not tell me he was gay. He has never been reported to have marched in a Pride parade, or made any overt displays of his orientation. Whatever he is, or is not, he keeps it to himself.

EARTHQUAKE ROCKS LOS ANGELES

John, in case you are reading this in between essay questions, we just had a 5.8 earthquake. The building went up and down and made us all dizzy. Scott vomited.

The Obama Sinner's Prayer

Heavenly Obama, I know that I have sinned against the Democratic Party and the people of the United States and that my Christianity, guns, Conservatism, Protestant work ethic and sense of self-reliance separate me from you. I am truly sorry. I now want to turn away from my past Republican life and turn to you for forgiveness. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your died for my sins, resurrected Socialism from the dead, which is now alive in you, and that only the government will hear my prayer. I invite the government to become the lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your civil servants to help me obey you, and to do your will for the rest of my life. In Obamas' name I pray, Amen

Obama the Messiah

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.

Journalists Split Over Obama!

The Associated Press reported today that journalists are split over Barack Hussein Obama. "When Barack Obama ascends the stage Sunday at the Unity journalism convention, fresh from an exhaustively chronicled overseas tour, he will face a surprisingly divided audience. Not on the subject of whether Obama should be president — [but] whether the underlying current of enthusiasm for Obama's historic candidacy should be constrained or allowed to spill forth on live television . . . "

"Barack Obama is the Jackie Robinson of our era . . . There's no getting around that, there's no asking people not to respond to that," one journalist gushed.

The people need to know how we feel about the candidates because they look up to us; we shape their opinons.

Basically, the journalists are divided over whether to be open and blatent in their support for Obama or whether they should strive to appear neutral!

John Prepares to Join Exclusive Club

Future member

What do all these people have in common? That's right, they all flunked the bar at least once.

Liberal Media Bias - They Love Obama

He's Got 'Em!

Stupid Burglers

A trail of pillows and backpacks led cops to two sleeping men who were arrested after a department store break-in. Kyle Burress, 25, and Allen Pierce, 27, have been charged with second-degree burglary. One loser was sleeping in a stolen hammock and the other on a pile of stolen pillows with his mouth open. Police photographed the men before waking and arresting them. Alcohol was reportedly involved.

Actual police photos are above.

Fake Moon Landing -- 39 Years Ago

It was 39 years ago yesterday that NASA, with the complicity of George Bush, Dick Cheney and the rest of the Neo-Cons faked the moon landing to bolster the price of oil and foment war in Iran, Iraq and Nicaragua. The proof: 1. Divergent shadows which could only have been produced by a spotlight. 2. Space rocks which have "Hollywood Type" letters. 3. Backdrops for "The Mountains of the Moon". 4. See the Astro-nots jump out of their own shadow. 5. Photo showing absolutely no crater under the main rocket of the LEM. 6. Photo of Astro-not taken by fellow Astro-not who had no camera. 7. Radiation should have turned the Astro-nots into crispy space bacon. 8. Why are there never any stars showing in any of the moon pictures? 9. The presence of swastika buildings all over the USA. If the above evidence does not convince you, then you are part of the cover up.

Do We Really Sympathize With a Woman Who Has Refused to Work for 40 Years?

Gloria Nunez, 40, has never worked and has no high school degree. She says a car accident 17 years ago left her depressed and disabled, incapable of getting a job. Instead, she and her daughter, Angelica Hernandez, survive on a $637 Social Security check and $102 in food stamps.

Hernandez received her high school diploma and has had several jobs in recent years. But now, because fewer restaurants and stores are hiring, she says she finds it hard to find a job. Even if she could, she says it's particularly hard to imagine how she'll keep it. She says she needs someone to give her a lift just to get to an interview. And with gas prices so high, she's not sure she could afford to pay someone to drive her to work every day.

People tell Nunez her daughter could get more money in public assistance if she had a child. "A lot of people have told me, 'Why don't your daughter have a kid?'"

The rising cost of food means their money gets them about a third fewer bags of groceries — $100 used to buy about 12 bags of groceries, but now it's more like seven or eight. So they cut back on expensive items like meat, and they don't buy extras like ice cream anymore. Instead, they eat a lot of starches like potatoes and noodles.

For the full story read:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92592545

Larry Gives us the Middle Finger!

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Larry Flips the Bird in the first couple of minutes of this episode of the Three Stooges.

Girls Pretending to be Race Car Drivers -- CATFIGHT!

Danica Patrick and Milka Duno

The British Empire is Gone Forever

Angela Simmons, 39, is one of around 50 women each year in the United Kingdom to have notched up her seventh abortion. She insists she does not regret any of her actions, "Looking back, there was a definitive reason why I had each termination and a valid reason why I felt at the time I could not even have begun to contemplate continuing with each of the pregnancies." Many, of course, will find such a flimsy justification hard to accept - especially seven times over. Perhaps the most astonishing revelation of all is Angela's insistence: "I do not really regret any of my abortions."

Or the admission that she also came close to aborting her son Ben and changed her mind only when her then partner, Patrick, begged her not to go through with it. Certainly, it doesn't come as much of a surprise that her relationship with Ben's father broke up six years ago amid bitter recrimination over the two additional abortions she had against Patrick's wishes. Angela's grim story is not unique. This week's figures released by Public Health Minister Dawn Primarolo reveal how many modern women are using abortion, not as a last resort, but almost as a form of contraception.

Statistics show that last year 1,300 British women had at least their fifth abortion.

Why We Should Eliminate "Disability" Pay

Boston fire officials ordered fireman/bodybuilder Albert Arroyo to return to work Monday, just days after they watched a video of the firefighter in a bodybuilding competition despite his claim that he had suffered a career-ending back injury and was on paid leave. "If he can lift barbells, he can lift a clipboard," Boston Fire Commissioner Roderick J. Fraser Jr. said yesterday. Fraser, who said Arroyo appeared to be in better shape than most firefighters, shot off a letter to Arroyo Thursday saying he expected him back on the job Monday. Arroyo, 46, is responsible for inspecting homes and businesses to ensure that they comply with city fire codes. He had been out of work and collecting his $70,000 per year salary tax-free since March, when he reported suffering a back injury that no one witnessed at a fire station where he was not assigned to work. Arroyo has referred questions to his lawyer, James S. Dilday, who said yesterday that he does not think Arroyo should return to work. "My understanding is that a doctor certified him as being totally and permanently disabled, and if that's the case, then he needs to follow the directions of his doctor," said Dilday.

Cop Fired For Extorting Free Coffee From Starbucks

Lt. Major Garvin, a Daytona Beach police officer, has been fired because he demanded free coffee and tea from a Starbucks and threatened employees with slower emergency response times if they refused. He said the free coffee would be the difference between a 15 minute response time and a 2 minute response time in the event of a hold-up. Starbucks' employees claim that since June of 2007, Garvin had visited the store as many as six times a night while on duty. Besides demanding free drinks, workers complained that Garvin also cut in front of paying customers.

Obamah Selects Running Mate

He selects his intellectual equal.

39th Anniversary of Ted Kennedy's Murder of Mary Jo Kopechne

On this day in 1969, Ted Kennedy murdered Mary Jo Kopechne. He was driving drunk, drove in to the river, and locked the doors of the submerged car so Mary Jo could drown.



Kennedy celebrates the 39th anniversary in Washington.

The car.

The grave.

Her last known photo.

Here he is, reinacting the event.

Salma Hayek Wedding Cancelled!!!

Shocking fans worldwide, Salma Hayek (through a publicist) has announced that she called off her engagement to businessman Francois-Henri Pinault. The couple announced plans to marry in March 2007, and welcomed a daughter, Valentina Paloma Pinault, several months later. "We are sad to announce the engagement of Salma Hayek and Francois-Henri Pinault has been canceled," publicist Cari Ross said in a statement. "There will be no further comment."

Please respect their privacy.

Crazy Movie Trailer

She Aspired to Be the Next Hillary Clinton

Grace Saenz-Lopez (pictured above), the former mayor of Alice, Texas, was indicted on January 18, 2008 on two felony counts of tampering with evidence and concealing evidence following the theft of a dog belonging to vacationing neighbors. The neighbors asked the mayor to take care of their dog while they were away. Evidently, she fell in love with the dog, so during their absence she called the neighbors and claimed that the dog had been stolen. The dog's name was Puddles but the mayor re-named it "Panchito." A reporter later spotted the dog at the her sister's home. She just pled guilty and will pay a $300 fine and 48 hours of community service. In response, the city council members held a vote of no-confidence. Meanwhile, citizens gathered recall petition affidavits. On February 1, before a date for such an election could be set, Saenz-Lopez resigned from office.

They Defiled the Lincoln Bedroom

During the Clinton era, the Lincoln Bedroom was auctioned off to the highest bidder. Here is a photo of some Hollywood types (Marci Post is on the right) jumping up and down on Lincoln's bed for laughs. Disgraceful.

CNN -- A Bunch of Liars and Hacks

When the liberals at CNN take a poll from their panel of "undecided" voters, you should always be weary. They are a lot like the people at the L.A. Times who poll only Democratic Party members when asking for whom they will vote for president in November.

Liberal Sen. Chuck Schumer Caused Bank Failure

An important angle in the IndyMac failure that may get lost in ominous headlines tonight and tomorrow: federal regulators pointedly cited U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., in explaining the bank's failure. In simple language, federal regulators blamed Schumer for a run on the bank.
Here's from the press release issued by IndyMac's regulator, the Office of Thrift Supervision: "The OTS has determined that the current institution, IndyMac Bank, is unlikely to be able to meet continued depositors’ demands in the normal course of business and is therefore in an unsafe and unsound condition. The immediate cause of the closing was a deposit run that began and continued after the public release of a June 26 letter to the OTS and the FDIC from Senator Charles Schumer of New York. The letter expressed concerns about IndyMac’s viability. In the following 11 business days, depositors withdrew more than $1.3 billion from their accounts.

Woman Allegedly Plants Rat in Food For Payout

A 41-year old woman, Debbie R. Miller, from Appleton, Wisconsin, is accused of putting a dead rat in her food at a fancy restaurant and demanding $500,000 to keep quiet. An investigation revealed that the rodent was a white lab rat -- not a wild, rabies infected rat. It was also learned that the rat was cooked in a microwave oven, but the restaurant doesn't use microwave ovens.

Barack and Michelle Obama EXPOSED

Man Knows Not His Time

William F. Buckley OWNS Jesse Jackson

Contracting syphilis and voting for Jesse Jackson are both legal; that doesn't make it reputable.

Best Nixon Quote EVER

Don't get the impression that you arouse my anger. You see, one can only be angry with those he respects.

Lurch v. John v. Bill: Dance Competition!

Lurch

John

Bill

John Apologizes -- BBB Vindicated!!

Dear Editor of Bill's Blunderful Blog:

It is with the utmost humility that I apologize to you and your readers for criticizing the story you wrote about the racquetball competition. I now realize that your web site is one of political and cultural satire (as noted in your recent Pulitzer Prize nomination form) and retract all criticisms I had of your blog, and all the personal attacks I levied against you and your family.

Respectfully,

John
Racquetball Game Loser

Schmitty Bitch-Slapped in Elevator!!

And Then There Was One . . . .

MDB, Sen. Jesse Helms aka "Senator No", RHB

Bill's Blunderful Blog Under Attack

Due to false accusations of inaccuracy and other threats received by a certain individual of Irish descent, who shall remain nameless, and who loves to fish, I have been forced to stop blogging. Unless he apologizes for his personal attacks against me, this blog will cease.

Butterflies Are Beautiful

We had a wonderful day at the office today. After working hard all morning, John, Scott, and the "whole gang" went out and enjoyed a wonderful lunch together. We even saw butterflies.