BBB Turns Over a New Leaf

Because of a number of complaints I have received from certain readers who perceive this blog to be mean spirited, BBB will turn over a new leaf and stop being mean.

He Harvests Urine to Drink

DUBLIN, Ohio — Cops have arrested Alan Patton of Columbus, Ohio, on charges of "criminal mischief" for allegedly planning to collect young boys' urine and drink it. According to a police report,a sporting goods employee recognized him as the same man she saw the previous week "putting Saran Wrap on toilets and cups in urinals." The employee called police and found Patton walking out of a restroom stall with a black duffle bag. Patton told investigators that he was not hurting anyone and that he suffers from an illness. Patton, a registered sex offender, posted bail. His prior crimes include gross sexual imposition against an 8-year-old boy and watching little boys urinate. Patton admits he collected little boys' urine to drink. Patton would turn the water to the urinals off, place a cup inside and then collect the urine after a boy went to the bathroom. Patton declined comment

Lurch v. John: The Rematch

After debunking the "I used to be an athlete" myth, Lurch has issued another challenge to the defeated and deflated John: A rematch of their famous racketball competition this Wednesday.

P.S. Fishing is not a sport.

Leviticus 18:23 Violation

Diane Sue Whalen, aged 54, from Tulsa, Oklahoma, was arrested June 26, and charged with felony crimes against nature after police were alerted to the existence of more than 150 home-made movies of the woman engaged in bestiality. The tapes were brought to police attention after her son accidentally stumbled onto one of the movies. He then alerted the sheriff's department. The tapes, along with three dogs -- a Labrador, a blue heeler and a mixed breed -- were also taken into custody. Police stated the dogs will be taken away from the woman and put down.

Anti-Animal Testing Protestors are Stupid

They are ugly. And angry.

Jessica Simpson Attacked by PETA

Animal rights protesters have launched a series of angry campaigns against A-list carnivores. They are shifting their focus from celebrities who wear fur to others who encourage the "exploitation" of animals by eating them. In its latest campaign, Peta – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which became infamous for dousing fur-wearers in red paint – has launched an attack on the singer Jessica Simpson.

Ms Simpson was singled out for ridicule after she was spotted wearing a T-shirt bearing the slogan "Real Girls Eat Meat", believed to be a light-hearted dig at her boyfriend Tony Romo's vegetarian ex-girlfriend, Carrie Underwood.

Alistair Currie, a spokesman for Peta, said: "Jessica Simpson might have a right to wear what she wants, but she doesn't have a right to eat what she wants – eating meat is about suffering and death. Some people feel like they are standing up against a tide of political correctness when they make a statement like this – what she is really doing is standing up for the status quo."

Leave the beautiful people alone!

Barack Obama Copies Eddie Murphy Campaign

From My Cold, Dead Hands!!!

The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall NOT be infringed!

Hero of the Constitution

Scooter's New Job

Whining about being a highly paid professional who sits in an air-conditioned office long enough, Scooter has decided to find a less stressful form of employment.

Lurch Attends Wedding Reception

Instead of showing support and watching the blogmaster's daughter in a softball tournament in his hometown this weekend, Lurch is going to a wedding. "The reception afterwards is gonna be sweet," he gushed.

Schmitty Shows Off His New GPS System

After losing his Benz in a recent accident, Schmitty has been forced to "down size," and is driving a 1987 Hondoid. "But is has a GPS system," he boasts.

Democrats Love Child Molestors, Hate Child Rape Victims

A Democratic Massachusetts politician and defense attorney has touched off a firestorm among Republicans with his shocking public vow to torment and "rip apart" child rape victims who take the witness stand if the state legislature passed stiff mandatory sentences for child sex offenders. Rep. James Fagan, a Democrat, made the comments during debate last month on the state House floor. "I'm gonna rip them apart," Fagan said of young victims during his testimony on the bill. "I'm going to make sure that the rest of their life is ruined, that when they’re 8 years old, they throw up; when they’re 12 years old, they won’t sleep; when they’re 19 years old, they’ll have nightmares and they’ll never have a relationship with anybody.” His remarks drew praise from his Democratic colleagues, as well as the local chapter of the ACLU (Anti-Christian Legal Unit).

Scott Defeats John in Racquetball Match

The Winner (Scott)

The Loser (John)

DemocraticUnderground Lunatics Mock Tim Russert

This disturbing image comes from the lunatic left wing website, democraticunderground.com. They have set up a poll where the lunatic left wing readers can decide what political leanings the late Tim Russert held. Most stated he was fascist, reactionary or conservative. 29 percent stated "moderate," while a minority stated he was liberal. Just goes to show you the world-view of the readers of that stupid website.

Now That's a Threat!

Women have such huge egos!

Hillary Picks Nose, Rather Than Running Mate

After extracting a long, stringy and somewhat bloody strand of mucus from her nose, Mrs. Bill Clinton announced, "That was a lot harder than picking a running mate! So Barack Hussein Obama has it easy."

Al Qaida Allows Gay Members

Following California's lead, Al Qaida has adopted new "gay friendly" policies this weekend, and announced it will no longer discriminate against "sexual-identity challenged" members. So long as an individual will take the oath of hatred against the United States, they will be admitted to the ranks of Al Qaida -- no questions asked.

Andrew Spotted in Palm Desert !

John Invents New Pizza