Ingratitude

It's that time of year again when wives get real sneaky about what they want for Christmas. Take last year for example. I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas and she told me she wanted earrings, preferably diamonds. Basically, a diamond is a shiny rock that she can show everyone is a symbol of how much her husband loves her. So I decided to kick it up a notch. I went out and bought her an entire star. There's this company that must own all the stars because they advertize them for sale on the radio. They give you an official deed and it even gets put in a book that is recorded in the United States Government Copyright Office, according to their ad. I was floored by her ingratitude on Christmas morning. We fought and argued, and finally I ended the discussion my yelling, "Hey, woman, I bought you a STAR!" That shut her up, because that's more real estate than can fit on the entire planet. She can look at it any night she wants. This year I am going to get her something worthless, like a card.