SRL has Psoriasis

In a pathetic effort to cover up his Psoriasis of the Arms, SRL wore a long sleeve shirt today underneath his short sleave shirt. He claimed he was trying to "go green" by keeping warm without the aid of fossil fuels, and he mumbled about how everyone should reduce his "carbon footprint," and "Earth First" but we all know he has gangrine/cyrossis/sclaraderma/psoriasis of the Arm. And don't ever visit www.TheNextNovember.blogspot.com

Scott Somehow Evades Red Cross Screening Process, Saves Life

Kudos goes out to Scott. Last December he donated a pint of blood via the Red Cross. They injected his blood into some poor baby who was about to die because she didn't have enough blood in her veins. So Scott saved her life. But now the baby seems to be angry all the time and looks at her mother in a menacing manner. Good Job, Scott.

Even His Cat Has A Mullet

Congratulations to S.P.Y.C. and SRL

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Pizza Mania Dissapoints with Bloody Pizza

ON THE DASHBOARD: Pizza Mania's Pepperoni and Mushroom Pizza.

THE SPECS: Pizza, Oh Boy!

DOES IT DELIEVER: Well, last night I ordered a pepperoni and mushroom pizza from my favorite pizzaria, Pizza Mania. I was really looking forward to eating that pizza.

Mmmmmm. Family Pizza Night. I dreamed about this night.

But then when the guy delivered it there was a problem.

The guy was fiddling with his finger and I saw blood on the receipt. Then I saw blood on his finger. Then I saw him dip his bloody finger into the pizza.

So after I paid him, gave him a big tip, and closed the door I got MAD! I threw the bloody pizza away. That'll show them.

IS IT WORTH THE MONEY AND CALORIES? Only if you think contracting AIDS is a fair price for pizza.

MY FINAL DASHBOARD DINING RATING: No Bites out of 4.

Muzzled by the Man

Why is That?

Why should you have as much as me?

Because I should.

Why is that?

Because I should.

Why is that?

It Seems to Me

The more I think about it, the more I appreciate water. A great, great beverage.

Of all the causes of death, burning in a fire is still Numero Uno in the pain department.

There isn't a better chef in the world of food than Chef Boyardee.

I have no tolerance for anyone who commits arson.

My wish for 2008 is that we see a lot more of John Larroquette.

It Seems to Me

Now that steroids are not being used by baseball players as much, you're going to see fewer homeruns.

The reason they charge so much for Superbowl commercials is because a lot of people watch the Superbowl, and so the ratings are high.

Hey, if you get a B on your test, just study more and next time and maybe you'll get an A.

I would have won the long drive contest, except my ball veered to the right and off the course.

The Future

Steak on a Paper Plate

Today Scott and I ate with PDiddy to celebrate at a world-class steak house, so what do you think Scott ordered? You got it. "I will have your hamburger, please." While PDiddy and I had medium-rare ribeyes, Scott was served up this fancy-shmancy hamburger. It was too big to hold, so he had to cut it up. The buns were like loaves of bread. It didn't even look like a hamburger.

Subscribe Now and Save !!

Right now, for a limited time, you can subscribe to my Blog at a very special price. Regularly $30.00 per year, if you act now you pay only $29.99. Just stop by my office before the end of the year and drop off your money. If you don't pay, then you are not allowed to read my Blog anymore. Right now, it's going to be on the honor system for you not to read this, but when I figure out how to block you guys, I will.

My First Blog

You know what cranks my gears? People who bug me. That's what. Like Leighton. He made me part of a dancing elf e-mail and made me one of the women elves.