Man Finds Out He's Related to Shakespeare!

I can now reveal after extensive research, that William Shakespeare has a living heir in Hank Brown. After spotting him on a Saturday afternoon drive through Sierra Madre last weekend (a local foothill community in the San Gabriel Valley), I pulled over to interview him. After I asked whether he was related to William Shakespeare, he reluctantly told me, “We’re a family of letters. Words are my life’s blood.” However, in his case they’re anemic, at least according to Professor Alan Youngman, genealogist extraordinaire. “I’ve been tracing William Shakespeare’s bloodline for years,” the professor explained. “Given our foolproof DNA tests, there is no doubt that Mr. Brown is actually Hank Brown Shakespeare, descended from the famed Bard of Stratford-on-Avon.” My exclusive — albeit brief — talk with the only living relative of the poet and playwright was interrupted by local resident Sam Collinsworth — Mr. Shakespeare’s boss — who advised him that it was time to stop jawing and get back to work. As he had done countless times before, Hank Shakespeare made sure his ladder was solidly set, then started climbing the rungs to finish changing the marquee on the Sierra Madre Playhouse.