The Obama Sinner's Prayer

Heavenly Obama, I know that I have sinned against the Democratic Party and the people of the United States and that my Christianity, guns, Conservatism, Protestant work ethic and sense of self-reliance separate me from you. I am truly sorry. I now want to turn away from my past Republican life and turn to you for forgiveness. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your died for my sins, resurrected Socialism from the dead, which is now alive in you, and that only the government will hear my prayer. I invite the government to become the lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your civil servants to help me obey you, and to do your will for the rest of my life. In Obamas' name I pray, Amen